


The Best of Nacre: An American Musical

by RiverDelta



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen, Song Lyrics, Stage Notes/Directions, The stage notes/directions are extremely informal but detailed enough to paint a picture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:06:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverDelta/pseuds/RiverDelta
Summary: The showstopping Broadway musical Nacre, which chronicles the life of one of our lesser-known Founding Mothers, has finally come to fans in the form of these official lyrical sheets with general notes as to how they are performed onstage.The most well-known songs have been preserved here.You'll Be Back: Yellow Diamond addresses her rebellious subjects.I Know Her: Yellow Diamond realizes that a certain Peridot's about to be elected to become the second president of the United States. She has very low expectations.The Peridot Administration: It goes as well as Yellow Diamond predicted.The Election of 1800: Lazuli or Jasper, we know it's lose-lose. But if you had to choose?





	1. You'll Be Back

"You'll Be Back"

 

Open on Yellow Diamond, who is currently in her throne room. It’s extremely ornate and crystalline, with Yellow Pearl standing dutifully on the side of the stage. As Yellow Diamond speaks, she makes large, dramatic hand gestures, flipping from mocking love and subdued appearances to outright maniacal gestures and over-the-top possessive body language as she paces back and forth.

 

_ YELLOW DIAMOND: _

You say

The price of my love's not a price that you're willing to pay

You cry

To your pearls which you tell to rebel when you see me go by

Why so sad?

Remember we made an arrangement when you were made,

Now you're making me mad

Remember, despite our estrangement, I'm your Gem.

 

You'll be back, soon you'll see

You'll remember you belong to me

You'll be back, time will tell

You'll remember that I ruled you well

Oceans rise, your empire’ll fall

We have seen each other through it all

And when push comes to shove

I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!

 

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da…

 

You say our love is controlling and you can't go on

You'll be the one who’s appalling when I am gone...

And no, don't change the subject

Cuz you're my hated subjects

My traitorous, stupid subjects

My crying, Diamond subjects

Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever…

 

You'll be back like before

I will fight the fight and win the war

To own your love, to claim your praise

And I'll love you till my dying days

When you're gone, you’ll go mad

So don't throw away this thing we had

Cuz when push comes to shove

I will break your friends and comrades to remind you of my love

 

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat—

Everybody!

 

_ Full Ensemble: _

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da dat dat da ya da!

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da da

Dat dat da ya da!

  
  



	2. I Know Her

 

I Know Her

 

Yellow Diamond stands in her throne room once again, and her motions are significantly more humbled. As she sings, she sits down in a lawn chair, more looking forward to watching the sparks fly than asserting her own superiority. Soon that’ll prove itself.

 

_ YELLOW DIAMOND: _

They say

Rose Quartz’s yielding her power and stepping away

Is that true?

I wasn’t aware that was something a person could do

I’m perplexed

Are they gonna keep on replacing whoever’s in charge?

If so, who’s next?

There’s nobody else in their country who looms quite as large…

 

_ [A sentinel whispers in Yellow Diamond’s ear] _

 

Peridot?!

I know her!

That can’t be

That’s that little pebble who insulted me

All those years ago

What was it, eighty-five?

Oh, yes, they’re gonna eat her alive!

Oceans rise

Your empire’ll fall

Next to Rose Quartz, they all look small

All alone

Watch them run

They will tear each other into pieces

By the stars, this will be fun!

 

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da

Da da da dat dat da ya daaaaa!

Hahahahahahahahaha

 

“President Peridot”

Good luck!


	3. The Peridot Administration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is actually my favorite character and I identify a lot with her struggles.
> 
> So me making fun of her here is kind of just me poking fun. I don't want to anger any Peridot fans, given that I'm a huge one myself.

The Peridot Administration

 

Spotlight on Peridot at her desk, who’s making various maniacal gestures and silently ordering around subordinates. She begins to rant at the crowd for a while in a manner that should probably be improvised. If Peridot in Friend Ship were John Adams, this is what should be seen. Half morose self-depreciation and half manic ranting. Spotlight goes away, Peridot leaves the stage, and we see Lapis, Jasper, and Amethyst come onstage. Lapis’s first lines address the crowd, but the rest are done in the form of a conversation between the three.

 

_LAPIS:_

How does Pearl Nacre the short-tempered

Protean creator of the Coast Guard

Founder of the New York Post

Ardently abuse her cab'net post

Destroy her reputation?

Welcome, folks, to

 

_LAPIS AND COMPANY WITH DEMONIC-SOUNDING VOICE DISTORTION:_

The Peridot Administration!

 

_LAPIS:_

Jasper's the runner-up, which makes her the Vice President

 

_JASPER:_

Rose Quartz can't help you now, no more missus nice President

 

_LAPIS:_

Peridot fires Pearl

Privately calls friend “war machine”  in her taunts

 

_AMETHYST:_

Say what?!

 

_LAPIS:_

Pearl Nacre publishes her response

 

_PEARL:_

Sit down, Peri, you smug mother _[*bleep*]_

 

_*beat*_

_LAPIS:_

Pearl’s out of control

This is great!

She's out of power

She holds no office

And she just destroyed President Peridot, the only other significant member of her party

 

_JASPER:_

Pearl's a host unto herself

As long as she can hold a pen, she's a threat

Let's let her know what we know

 


	4. The Election of 1800

The Election of 1800:

 

Jasper and Lapis sing back to back for the beginning of the song, with the ensemble behind them. They separate and begin to sing as though they are talking, with various subdued gestures. Peridot, meanwhile, is at the side of the stage.

  


_FULL COMPANY:_

The election of 1800

 

_JASPER:_

Can we get back to politics?

 

_LAPIS:_

Please?

 

_JASPER:_

Yo. Ev'ry action has its equal, opposite reaction

Peridot shat the bed. I hate the Gem, and she's in traction

Poor Pearl Nacre? She’s missing in action

So now I'm facing Lapis Lazuli

With her own faction

 

_PERIDOT:_

_*Mockingly*_

She's very attractive in the North

New Yorkers like her chances

 

_JASPER:_

She's not very forthcoming on any particular stances

 

_PERIDOT:_

_*Basically just revelling in going after both of her opponents*_

Ask the clod a question: it glances off, she obfuscates, she dances

 

_JASPER:_

And they say I'm a Homeworld-phile: at least they know I know where it is!

 

_PERIDOT_

Jasper, that's the problem, clod, they see Lapis as a less extreme you

 

_JASPER:_

That’s stupid.

 

_PERIDOT:_

Don’t change course, a key endorsement could redeem you. *To audience in a stage whisper* That would be bad for everyone

 

_JASPER:_

Who are you talking about?

 

_PERIDOT:_

Nobody!

 

_JASPER:_

Who is it, you smug motherf-

 

_PERIDOT:_

You used to work on the same staff

 

JASPER:

What?

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

It might be nice, it might be nice

To get Pearl Nacre on your side

 

_JASPER:_

It might be nice, it might be nice

To get Pearl Nacre on my side

 

_LAPIS AND ENSEMBLE:_

Talk less!

Smile more!

Don't let 'em know what you're against or what you're for!

Only one candidate leads cooly

It's eighteen hundred, vote for

Lazuli!

 

_MALE VOTER:_

I don't like Peridot

 

_FEMALE VOTER:_

Well, she's gonna lose, that's just defeatist

 

_OTHER MALE VOTER:_

And Jasper?

 

_TWO MEN:_

In love with Homeworld!

 

_OTHER FEMALE VOTER:_

Yeah, she's so elitist!

 

_TWO WOMEN:_

I like that Lapis Lazuli!

 

_A WOMAN:_

I can't believe we're here with her!

 

_A MAN:_

She seems level-headed…?

 

_ANOTHER MALE VOTER:_

Like there’s not much to fear with her!

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Dear Pearl: your fellow Fed'ralists would like to know how you'll be voting

 

_PEARL:_

It's quiet uptown

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Peridot doesn't stand a chance, so who are you promoting?

 

_PEARL:_

It's quiet uptown

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Lazuli or Jasper?

Lazuli or Jasper?

We know it's lose-lose (We know it's lose-lose)

Lazuli or Jasper?

Lazuli or Jasper?

But if you had to choose (But if you had to choose)

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Dear Pearl Nacre (Lazuli or Jasper?)

Peridot doesn't stand a chance (We know it's lose-lose)

So who are you promoting? (Lazuli or Jasper?)

But if you had to choose (But if you had to choose)

 

_PEARL:_

Well, if it isn't Lapis, Miss.

 

_LAPIS:_

Pearl!

I'm going door to door!

 

_PEARL:_

You're openly campaigning?

 

_LAPIS:_

Sure!

 

_PEARL:_

That's new

 

_LAPIS:_

Honestly, it's kind of draining

 

_PEARL:_

Lapis!

 

_LAPIS:_

Miss.

 

_PEARL:_

Is there anything you wouldn't do?

 

LAPIS:

No, I'm chasing what I want

And you know what?

 

_PEARL:_

What?

 

_LAPIS:_

I learned that from you

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

If you had to choose

If you had to choose

 

_WOMAN IN ENSEMBLE:_

It's a tie!

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

If you had to choose

If you had to choose

 

_JASPER:_

It's up to the delegates!

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

If you had to choose

If you had to choose

 

_JASPER:_

It's up to Pearl!

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

If you had to choose

If you had to choose (Lazuli or Jasper?)

If you had to (Lazuli or Jasper?)

Choose (Choose)

Choose (Choose)

Choose (Choose)

 

_PEARL:_

Yes?

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

The people are asking to hear my voice

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

For the country is facing a difficult choice

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

And if you were to ask me who I'd promote

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

Jasper has my vote

 

_JASPER AND ENSEMBLE:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

I have never agreed with Jasper once

 

_ALL BUT PEARL:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

We have fought on almost seventy-five diff'rent fronts

 

_ALL BUT PEARL:_

Oh!

 

_PEARL:_

But when all is said and all is done

Jasper has beliefs, Lapis has none

 

_ALL BUT PEARL:_

Oooooooooooooh

 

_PERIDOT_

_*Laughing her butt off*_

Well, I'll be damned

Well, I'll be damned!

Pearl's on your side

 

_ENSEMBLE:_

Well, I'll be damned

Well, I'll be damned

 

_JASPER:_

And?

 

_PERIDOT:_

_*Bitter*_

You won in a landslide. CLODS!

*She yells at the top of her lungs, to the audience as much as to the actors*

 

_LAPIS:_

Congrats on a race well-run

I did give you a fight

 

_JASPER:_

Uh-huh

 

_LAPIS:_

I look forward to our partnership

 

_JASPER:_

Our partnership?

 

_LAPIS:_

As your vice-President

 

_JASPER:_

Ha. Yeah, right

You hear this Gem? She openly campaigns against me, then, “I look forward to our partnership.”

 

_PERIDOT:_

_*Emphasis on “crazy”*_

It's crazy that the Gem who comes in second gets to be Vice President

 

_JASPER:_

Yeah, you know what? We can change that. You know why?

 

_PERIDOT:_

Why? *She looks very, very worried*

 

_JASPER:_

'Cuz I'm the President!

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally planned to adapt the entire musical like this, but so many of the songs would have to be butchered absolutely, so I decided to go with a "what-if" kind of thing that could still be used if anyone wanted to.


End file.
